Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I tried to take a slow-motion video of myself flipping my hair like in a shampoo commercial. Instead, I hit my head against the shower door so hard that my shelf of cosmetics collapsed and landed in my toilet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML
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Top comments
Kamazar 0
I think the story on how you got industrial toilet cleaner in your eyes would make a better FML ;)
mf_fml 0
"raging fire party"!!!! i... i think i love you.
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Comments (80)
qwerty123456789 0
And you had industrial toilet cleaner in your eyes because...?
wonderbread1995 0
Why was their industirial tolitet cleaner with it soaps..??? I'm assumeing that's what happened... If not I don't get how that's possible
sonofpigmeat 0
Outfuckingstanding!
oogyboogy 6
I don't care if you killed someone that kills and you life is ******
esklstar 0
ooooch owie sorry buddy
balletstar101 0
I moderated this one! :-) Becareful nxt time!!! ;-) {:-$D
ALRULES88 1
I got gasoline in my eyes. the only damage to my left eye is a little blurieness. my parents don't know and I was screaming when it happened. they were downstairs and I was upstairs
Skimbap 0
Haha, can't even clean anymore, looks like we got another useless woman in the world XD
terranada 3
that's why I usually just stick my head in or pour water on my face. i risk getting th bathroom floor wet, but that's better than hitting my head =/
tessybearbear 4
I know this FML is really old, but I just wanted to say it's extremely well-written. Bravo, OP.