Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML
Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Lice to see you too
Dark__Angel66 24
Well, time to invest in some lice-be-gone shampoo.
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Comments (80)
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Tell him. He needs to know.
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
I hope when you got home you scrubbed with lice shampoo.
9echo 17
C'mon, you can do better than that. Getting first comment isn't worth making a stupid two word comment.
psychchika 13
I physically cringed when I read this.. gross.
miura_fml 17
Why couldn't you stop it? If it were me, I'd pull away and tell him the reason why. Why endure it?
\ 28
Agreed. I have passed up dozens of chances to post the first comment out of fear of failing...
Caitie_kid 8
That's sad :( you should offer to help them with that.
norwegianboip 17
He was just trying to be Nice to you.
bettyboop428 24
Let's just hope grandpa isn't going down on grandma anytime soon.
NessaMae 19
Oh god that is gross..OP your grandpa needs to get some lice shampoo or shave or something..