Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Harmless, huh?
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Mystery
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
Freakout
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Top comments
Dezi_Chan 0
Deserved it. You probably threw a peanut at it, or even worse... MADE THE DUCKFACE! :OO
Jimboom 12
I AM THE WALRUS!!!! coo coo ca choo :-P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (220)
dareaper30 0
bitch just got owned
KingDingALing 9
lol i have the shirt that says that #75
bmboente15 0
did it hurt?
Turbolag25 7
dude, that ba-lows
steffanyhasadrea 0
hahaha, that sounds like thee funniest thing to watch xD
sk8trzero53 0
hilarious
jonthebassist 0
epic WIN
NightLife_fml 0
LMAOO!!!!!! this made my day :]
cassidynicole 0
lmfao. fail
selinabitxhxoxo 0
hahaha lmfao that just made my day