Betchsadface
United States
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Malaysia
Harmless, huh?
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
mugged
United States
Mystery
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Username
United States
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
LennyComa
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
youknowwhatitis
Australia
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
Brie
United States
Freakout
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
furball
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
violated ._.
United States
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Top comments
Dezi_Chan 0
Deserved it. You probably threw a peanut at it, or even worse... MADE THE DUCKFACE! :OO
Jimboom 12
I AM THE WALRUS!!!! coo coo ca choo :-P
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Comments (220)
cheezbrgrsrcool 1
lol
ilovepotatoes419 14
yeah
TheFiercePhoenix 5
I read this and saw waitress. My version was funnier.
ukrichu 14
Wait... You can pet the walruses there?!?!
CrassKal 27
You got to touch a walrus? Awesome.
Doj456 5
YDI for talking back to the Walrus-Pimp. BITCH, DON'T TALK BACK TO YO WALRAPIMP.
TheLBG 5
EPIC
nemoK96 6
LMFAOO!!
charliebot 4
That isn't an fml. That's a freaking win.
CyberPunkTink 0
OP:You are the eggman, I am the eggman, I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob. Walrus:NO IM THE WALRUS BITCH!*bitchslaps OP*