Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
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Comments (121)
SenGaeriel 3
You have to love young kids because they always tell the truth in front of others but never when they're alone with their parents.
Mx_Rider 6
true true ^^ but op, you totally deserve it. come on you told a 7yr old your thoughts and hoped he would keep his mouth shut? it aint happening bro fyl.
ihatestupidppl 0
Yeah, you deserve it for bringing a 7 year old into your "grown up" problems in the first place. Children are not therapists, people.
Jeef27 0
YDI on every level. Leave your 7 year old son out of your love life.
Suree 0
YDI for f***king up your kid's mind.
HBubble 3
YDI for not thinking about what you say in front of your child
Butcher_1419 0
LOL good job trusting a kid to stfu about your secrets. ydi for being your ex-girkfriend's bitch.
Cristaderzi 0
Nor should the kid have to keep his mouth shut!! Child predators LOVE it when a child keeps secrets.. Sad but true!
Peroxide 3
I bet you fixed her computer all right. Did shoving that floppy into her slot work?? What about poking her hard drive with your work tool??
devendra_fml 0
you were obviously waiting to use computer innuendo for a very long time.
RPGod 0
Little kids cannot keep a secret. YDI
higurashil0v3 0
what does "YDI" mean?
xXCherrryBombXx 6
you deserved it