Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
Today, after finding $50 on the sidewalk this morning and feeling like the luckiest person alive, I got a parking ticket for $60. FML
Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML
Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML
Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML
Today, I got tipped more than I have in my bank account. It was $5. FML
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him, "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied, "Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML
Today, I'm a waitress. A customer came in and acted very kindly and even mentioned how I was such a help to her. She also mentioned leaving a nice tip. The tip? A fake $20. Thanks. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
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Top comments
teague95 16
Parking. You're doing it wrong.
wallandpiece 16
Maybe you should think about where you park next time.
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Comments (104)
ElricMustang 23
And you got a fine while delivering pizza? How long could you have possibly been there?
lifes_a_b1tch 7
Don't have to be there long if it was a No Parking Zone.
pexy_fml 16
look at the bright side you only have to pay 10$ now
theneatoburrito 8
$10 ** I'll probably get thumbed down for this, but it annoys the crap out of me when people do that.
lolfood 24
A lot of other places do 10$ instead of $10. It makes more sense to me to say 10$ because it looks like "ten dollars" instead of "dollars ten".
theneatoburrito 8
But that's not correct. Although it may "look right", it isn't.
DomDomxoxo 16
Depends on where you live. Where I live it's 10$. In Chocolatetown it might be $10.
theneatoburrito 8
71- Now I have no idea about Canada, but in the US, the dollar sign always comes BEFORE the number. And the OP clearly put the dollar symbol before the number, and since that's the post you're referencing, I believe you should do the same.
DomDomxoxo 16
Yeah, you're totally right. Sorry about that.
pexy_fml 16
In the US the $ sign should be before, but where I live it doesn't really matter, both ways are fine
mikuxxhatsune 32
Where I live it is mostly $10 but you do see 10$ pop up every now and then.
KiRaKaT 9
If she saw that it was a parking violation she should have said something...seems that would have helped more
tennisrapper1 14
This comment will be thumbed down, or thumbed up because you're resistant to follow the directions of this comment. And even so, you might be resistant to do either because I mentioned two possibilities on this comment. What will you do?
theneatoburrito 8
Whoa, that must've been one sneaky cop. How long were you at this lady's door anyway?
KeyboardWarrior 10
He forgot to mention the tip was in pennies. Took her hours to count!
downtime 13
Police here don't usually ticket parked cars unless they're obstructing traffic or doing something ridiculously dangerous. There had to be a council worker in the area.
idoam 8
You must have been there a while to get a ticket. Maybe the tip wasn't for pizza...
missalkali 8
he could've been there for a minute and a half. he just had to be there long enough for a cop to see and write the ticket. illegal is illegal even for a minute.
sirpantselot 22
26 - giggity!
butterflyz1961 2
Look at the bright side; now you only have pay $10 out of pocket instead of $30. You're still $20 richer.
mattorama 15
Or OP could have simply not parked like an idiot and had a twenty dollar gain instead of ten dollar net loss.
Nutty4Muffs 3
Seems like he's $10 poorer to me.
br0ccoli 15
Those ticket-givers sure are fast! They must do sprint intervals on the treadmill or employ those Olympian sprinters. I never see them, either!
nother1 1
Bullshit there is no way you can get a ticket that fast
theneatoburrito 8
And I quote directly from the commenting policy: "Please don't post any comments which question the validity of an FML". Hm, looks like someone didn't read the commenting policy! Tsk, tsk.
vbmg152 19
Your fault!