Omegared
United States
Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
owmyballs
Thailand
Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML
Username
United States
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Discipl
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Waterloo, Canada
Eat more fibre
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
blanknameisblank
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Fayetteville, United States
Strong
Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML
Anonymous
Blow it
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
smells like ass
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Anonymous
Too stupid
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
hopeless
Canada
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
Anonymous
Vianen, Netherlands
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
broken
United States
Romance isn't dead
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Top comments
ladiesman219 4
yo yo will **** yo nose up yo
KleenexWaffle 3
Boners go up, and then come back down. Then up, Then down. And so on and so forth until about 65. Then the Viagra comes in where it goes up, and stays up, and stays up some more, still up, up like a teenage kid at his first dance, strong as a wet dream about Scarlett J, straight as a ruler and twice as thick, solid as an 8" flagpole, still up here, and here, and here too, still up, ..., this can't be good, ..., ..., alright I have to go see a doctor but you get the picture. HA! Gave you a mental image of a winky and now you can't stop picturing one! Geez I'm immature. Sorry boys and girls. penis
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Comments (66)
ladiesman219 4
yo yo will **** yo nose up yo
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
no
Katie_the_Great 6
2 you're so cool.....
KleenexWaffle 3
Yo, 'Homey'. How is it 'Hanging'? I'm trying to speak your 'Hipizzle' new 'Streetizzle' language 'izzle', and I was just wondering 'Dawg izzlejustizzletookapizzleontherugizzle'; is there anyway to speak it without sounding like a retarded chimpanzee? Just wondering. 'Yo'
FuttBuck 0
VaginaBoob
ladiesman219 4
yo yo will **** yo nose up yo
ellopoppet 0
lol aw =|
tsim_fml 0
would you give a tattoo to a minor without parent's consent?
kay2kay 1
gross cleavage. push those puppies together xP sorry. off topic
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha^
Monikabug 9
I second Boner's statement. ^
glitterme 5
did you damage the yoyo :/
kay2kay 1
I know right? All that great instructing and his brother never gets to try it because the yo-yo is broken and saturated in blood. :[
mariazzz 5
this was funny... lol
EvilPotato 15
you got pwned by a yo-yo.
Monikabug 9
^ Great success.
Miss_Michaela 10
'Yo' need to calm down on the 'yo-yo' jokes. It's all getting out of hand.. Which, incidentally, was what happened to his yo-yo. It got it of his hand. ;)
Miss_Michaela 10
Out* of his hand. Auto correction strikes again.
KJLD5 0
not funny...
KleenexWaffle 3
I am not amused... HA! I get it. 'yo-yo' jokes got 'out of hand'. it's actually kinda funny. I was just kidding about the whole 'not amused' thing. You could even say I was just, stringing you....(puts on sunglasses)...along CSI:Miami joke, lame I know.