Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
brunettegurly 0
holy ****. my boyfriends dick is 9 inches erect 7 normal.
Ririshi 0
We do care..
MyLifeAsAnna 1
What's his ethnicity? Biggest to smallest dicks: Black Hispanic White Asian... :b
pugdug808 2
haha I'm 13 and I'm bigger than that
thehotwolfgirl 0
Yeah I was disappointed to when found out that when a guy gets excited like if his favorite football team scored and it's not sexual excitement they start getting smaller!(permanently) My boyfriend lives football!
flamminbunny 2
it aint the size of the boat its the motion of the ocean haha:p but you should love him just the way he is.
IronZombie 0
also a phone vibrates
Whiteguyswag23 0
My penis is 6 inches and I'm 14. But as long as sex isn't the most important thing in your relationship, there's no reason to call her a ****. And as long as it's bigger than 2, you should be happy!
londonQT1997 0
thats more of an FML for the love of your life...
baileybug93 0
how small is he when he's soft?? o.O
SicklyStar 0
....my high heels are bigger than that. :3