Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML
Today, I found out some very disturbing information about one of my brothers, who I have not seen in 8 years. The information is so crazy that I've thought about going to the FBI. FML
Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML
Today, I found out my oldest brother is getting married in two weeks. I heard about it through one of my two sisters, who pretty much helped end his last marriage, and who he hasn’t spoken to in 3 years. She wanted to complain about the invite taking so long. I still haven’t been invited, and I thought we were on good terms. FML
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Today, I found out my 35 year-old brother got divorced 18 months ago when my now ex-sister-in-law told me via Facebook messenger, and asked me to tell my parents, as both of them were too scared to do it themselves. FML
Today, I found out that my brother has been stealing money from me for the past five months. FML
Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML
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Top comments
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
wow! now THAT is a hell of a commitment to a Halloween costume. 3 months ago your brother told me that for his fiance's party he was going as a **** up. a standing ovation to you sir. well played. he should definitely win best costume
bethan1 4
Maybe noone told you because they didn't want you to embarrass them by posting it on the internet.
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Comments (65)
Ranimal 12
Really, how do you go that long without noticing?
eatlesschipmunks 0
Some family you have
killakalli 1
F your life? your brother is the one in jail. while your feeling sorry for yourself in your own bed your brother is protecting his man-flower with a shank made out of an old toothbrush. F his life my friend.
bethan1 4
Maybe noone told you because they didn't want you to embarrass them by posting it on the internet.
77taylah33 0
don't you at least call him every once and a while?
angrynegro7 16
How is your life ******, OP? You have your freedom, while your brother has to fight every day to keep from getting passed around like a carton of cheap cigarettes. F his life AND his ass. :-l
SadinSherman 16
Maybe it was a minor offense and he didn't want to worry you
Zmeilerr 22
Halloween has been over for like 15 conflab days. props to whoever gets the reference. (hint: nickelodeon)
secretlyvictoria 1
Rugrats? ;)
Zmeilerr 22
Victoria got it right! Victoria, you win +3 Internets.
skimonkey96 0
I'm so sorry! and for everybody that said ydi, think about this- what if she lived far away and when he was jailed nobody thought to tell her even when she emailed? I'm pretty sure there's a way to email from jail. or even if she or he didn't have email or a phone? come on people, how could she possibly deserve this???