Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML
theapplesleader
Washington, United States
Yucky!
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Becks
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
seadrick
Granville Ferry, Canada
Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML
ewwww
Oak Lawn, United States
Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
rivercitybarf
United States
Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML
John
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Saint Lucia
Creepy crawlies
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
awkardtaco
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Anonymous
Sparta, United States
Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML
Top comments
dylanger16 19
You might want to go to the doctor and get tested for diseases then
Queensland 27
Why would you want to eat a black jelly bean anyway, they're the worst!!
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Comments (88)
WipeHour 11
Holy shit, that actually made me gag.
jentrynicole 20
Were you even eating jelly beans?
DerpSalad 14
Oh...... Oh... Okay
PhoenixMartinez 30
Who says they ate it? For all we know, OP found it on the floor and picked it up to chuck it in the bin.
Harroo44 9
nobody should have to suffer either of those!
Bigfabthetruth52 22
I guess you deserved to enlighten yourself on how not to eat random shit you find in the wild.
creeptchilidog 10
I wonder if it was a bet or a joke played on em
jbones24 22
I dont know why you would eat either of those things
ally8 21
Presumably you didn't find it in a jellybean pack... So why would you see something in the wild and decide to stick it in your mouth?
Blue_Black_fml 21
Because OP is an idiot.. There's no other explanation.
Blue_Black_fml 21
Because OP is an idiot.. There's no other explanation.
trb85 11
Black jelly beans are black. Blood-filled ticks tend to be grey. Not seeing how this even happened. YDI so much.