Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
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Top comments
Masochistic 0
What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?
skyeyez9 25
drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.
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Comments (455)
Jimboom 12
Perhaps you should start some little "rituals" of your own. Every time you give your b/f a ******* let him come in your mouth, don't swallow and then go spit out his baby batter into the cd-tray of his xbox. :-P
sasha_kay 4
hahahahahjahaahhaha
EV34 6
better yet spit it on his face
kaiser_m 0
no no... in his mouth...
Monikabug 9
OMG 30, that's pretty brilliant.
BritishHobo 0
I think this should be the punishment for any of those stupid gamer guys that are always on the comments of FMLs of girls that got neglected for a game (yeah, I know this isn't one of those). Seems so fitting.
lace2010 0
I'm with 30..you should should take it further than that tho..you should go without shaving for a while then when you finally do put them in his mouth :)
kyaquatel 0
eeeeew snowballs are gross!
maskedman 9
Did anyone else get an erection from this comment?
Vayant 0
Or you can rip off his pubes, and fill his game cases with em.
youdidwhatnow 0
Agreed.
Starfire22 5
That's very random and just a little creepy...
BannedStory 0
so true lols
observesandgasps 0
so what happene when your 12 y/o boyfriend ran out of pubes after 3 kills?
Valter 0
haha
Mehness 0
Congratz. No surprise here, but I'm twelve, and I'm pretty sure I have much more pubes than... three.
slyace 9
He's just a child at heart.....A very disturbed child. FYL
weheuw 0
Omg, I was just about to puke right there
emmmilyyy 0
wtf? he has some serious problems. i advise you to move out/get away from him before he kills you and wears your skin as a suit or something equally twisted :P
EV34 6
hahahahahaha!!!
XDNurse 0
lmfao that's rich.
blink831forever 13
Wow! That's just creepy and sick!
olliec 0
That's some odd behaviour.