Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife has locked herself in the bedroom crying because I said I didn't want to go to Disney for a vacation this year. We have been to Disney eight times in five years. Every vacation, it's Disney, Disney, Disney! I'm fucking sick of Disney! FML
Today, my husband and I had to cancel our family Disney World trip because my mom stole and gambled away all of our spending money. Our kids are still crying and throwing tantrums and don't understand why we can't afford to go anymore. FML
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML
Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML
Today, my dad told me he's taking the whole family to Disney World, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML
Today, I bought tickets to Walt Disney World for myself and my 6 year-old. She just announced she's afraid to ride an escalator, to the point of tears. FML
Today, we had to cancel a Disney vacation we had spent thousands of non-refundable dollars planning for over a year because our oldest son tested positive for COVID and we couldn't find anyone to leave him with on such short notice. My other kids are heartbroken. FML
Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML
Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year-old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
You're going to Disney World. It's supposed to be for the kids anyway. You can **** your wife when you get back home. No big deal.
unmadebed 0
seems like you were actually just cockblocked by your wife
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Comments (87)
life_hates_you 0
It's a family vacation, with your children! Have sex when you get home and let your kids enjoy this chance! I would love to be able to take my little girl to Disney! Shut up an quit being a bigger brat than your kids!
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Don't you have lovin' all of the time anyway? What do you have to wait all year til vacay to have s*x? If you wanted a romantic trip then you would get rid of the kneehuggers for a week and go to a 4-5* all inclusive tropical couples resort. Duh! Oh and Disney has babysitting services if you stay at their resort for all ages so quit being such a cheapo
jenniLoveU 0
tht sux 4 u
fairypower 4
most places in Disney world have baby sitting services were you could get away for half the day
heyred 11
WDW has plenty of kids-only options!
FlonkertonChamp 6
or, gee, you could ignore your penis for a few days and ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR KIDS. douche.
KasCiaYr 0
Biggot.
chikachikawahwah 0
fascist.
KasCiaYr 0
biggot.
kornhead09 0
I dint know about you but Batman doesn't like it when I ignore him
DocBastard 40
Jumpin' Jiminy! Well, it's a very Simba solution to Minniemize your pain. I'll give you some advice, though you may think I'm being Goofy or acting Dumbo. Don't have a Chip on your shoulder. She will notice the Aurora of sadness around you and she'll think you're acting Cruella. Spend time with your kids. Do they watch "Glee"? Then watch Mowgli and don't make a big hulaBaloo. For your next vacation you can go to Rome or Mulan. You're probably going to Pooh Pooh this, but Owl assure you, when you get back, you can act as Charming as you like and she will act as sweet as a Daisy, especially if you bend down on Disney and tell her you love her. Once you walk through your own front Dory, there won't be aNemo problems. She can role play and dress up like your favorite stripper - Bambi.
SirEBC 7
*Brain explodes*
jessyxrae 0
that, was amazing.
enoughgrace 4
DocBastard, you're amazing!
KasCiaYr 0
No matter how amazed I am here I say... get a life...huh?
twilightlover_47 0
That's probably one of the awesomeist things ive ever heard. made my day
Whorebiscuits 4
*is speechless*
dudeitsdanny 10
I just came all over my laptop. Best ever.
MaryPoppins88 14
I think it's time to get creative maybe do it in the shower
ILoveEggnog 7
12, I really hope that was a Family Guy reference directed at 10.
RufusCade 7
Isn't it amazing how women think that spending time with some snoddy mini people is heaven on earth... No, if I'm on vacation, I want to have sex! I want to get laid! Is it too much to ask to get 30 mins of my wife's attention?
howslife123 0
ass.
Star18lk 0
That's ****** up.
freshlybreezy 15
You only last 1/2 an hour? No wonder your wife booked a small room...