Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
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Top comments
superjewguy 19
he croaked?
DocBastard 40
There's only one thing you can do to the carpet now - Ribbit up.
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Comments (65)
bagofpopkern 18
I'm just kind of wondering how a frog got caught under the carpet in the first place. :p
MisterEx 28
He was running away from the ribbit, took a leap of faith under the carpet. But apparently that doesn't fly at OP's household.
briang959 47
People say they stepped on a frog when they fart. So did it sound like a fart when you stomped it?
CommentModerated 17
Really? I've never heard that one before.
FroggerForReal 11
Lol how does a frog even get into your house and under a carpet because I'd imagine that would've been a struggle since they don't seem strong. Oh well OP just pick it up and bury it.
worldclassrager 41
I bet you are hopping mad now
loathingloser 14
RIP-pit
Goblin182 27
How did the people laying the carpet not see the lump?
coklara 15
That's none of my business
10187ok 7
I guess he was too croaked up to figure out where he was
JJ_86 22
Keep trying..
HazelGrace 10
You deserved that
False_Stupidity 42
Poor Kermit! I bet Miss Piggy is all croaked up with grief right now. She might even kermit suicide to join her true love. On the other hand, in true miss piggy style she may get hopping mad at you OP and be out for revenge so you better watch your back since I would imagine being karate chopped by a pig would get embarrasing.
jackel_love 14
You stole, not only one, but two other people's puns. Ironic that your username is False_Stupidity, more like True_Stupidity.