Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML
Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, I’ve been growing dreads for two years after I lost my hair to chemo. After visiting my boyfriend’s family, we all contracted lice from the kids. Even though I did the shampoo and treatment, my locks are too coiled to effectively comb out all the nits. I have to shave my head again. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, 2 hours before a 13-hour flight, I found out I had head lice. I'm a 24-year-old woman. FML
Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML
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Top comments
pittsports87 0
YDI for being a hippy
Greendarthpotato 0
That is gross.
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Comments (356)
yuui_fml 0
You do realise you don't have to cut your hair to get rid of head lice? Seriously, tea tree oil works wonders.
hanamama 0
Could be worse. You could've had a mullet.
GDinNJ 0
Eh...I think I'd actually prefer a man with a mullet over a man with a 10 year old ponytail. Ten years of growing out his hair. That's even disgusting for a woman. Of course, I could be misreading this. I just thought it implied that he hasn't cut his hair.
qetzacoatl122112 0
A man who let the back of his mullet grow out for 10 years... Mullets are disgusting....
BLNovelist 0
His hair could also grow really slowly. Just because he's grown it for 10 years doesn't mean it's down to his knees.
hanamama 0
You prefer a mullet? hmm... http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3472857344/tt0245686 I think I'll go with Fabio over Mr. Dirt.
GDinNJ 0
I still stand by what I said. Business in the front, party in the back! xD Not that I actually like mullets either. Don't get me wrong.
neeeeeeeecole 0
YDI because men should NOT have ponytails, under any circumstances.
mattmag 0
guys with ponytails are weird. she's doing you a favor.
Luckster 0
I feel for you. I had my hair very short a number of years, but I kept a small portion of it nice and long in the back and braided it (I think the term was 'rat tail' at the time??). Took me three years to keep my hair looking decent with it and to grow the tail out long. Mom decided it would be funny to cut it off one night when I was sleeping. Moved out the next day. (I'd just graduated beforehand). Now I fear growing my hair out at all cause someone might decide to cut it off again.
MonkeySpeaks 4
dear lord, i hope this was a joke. a rat tail? that's not even 1999. Thats more like... 1989. I think the phrase "it took work to keep it looking nice" and "rattail" don't go well together. How did anyone take you seriously professionally with a rattail? It's named after the hairless ass growth of a scavenger animal for a reason. The fad also died out within a decade for a reason. It's just a really low-class, trailor park style. Sorry.
kpaq 0
why would you move out because she cut your nasty rat tail?
cr4ckb0n3f4n 0
what's wrong with a pony-tail? If he likes his haircut the way it is (or liked the way it was), then there's nothing wrong with NOT changing his haircut. IMHO, his wife's a biach/dominatrix.
Anon_Coconut 0
What's wrong with dominatrices?
GDinNJ 0
It's kind of creepy. There's really nothing else to say about it. I mean, I know that sounds mean, but men (especially fully matured adult men) with ponytails creep most people out. It's a fact.
avoidthegirl 6
.... or the fact that his wife has despised it since he decided to start growing that atrocity and figured out a way to get rid of it. There are very few men in the world who can get away with hair long enough to pull back into a ponytail, and none of them are white.
GDinNJ 0
Hey, sorry your ponytails weird some people out. Don't shoot the messenger.
grlwitperlEring 0
YDI for believing that you have to cut your hair to get rid of head lice If that were true you would see a bunch of little girls with shaved heads...
tronner 0
How did this happen? How does one give someone else "head lice on purpose". There isn't a head lice store where I'm at and I'm pretty sure PA doesn't have a Nits R Us on every corner. Besides, if this IS true, what kind of idiot is she? Does she not sleep in the same bed as you? Does she not realize she'll get lice too?
intotheblue 0
Haha that's hilarious, #20. Thumbs-up to you. Really, OP, the only reason you would have to cut off the pony tail is if it were really matted, preventing you from being able to wash it and comb it thoroughly with a head lice kit. And seriously, how did your wife obtain lice to give you on purpose...? It's mean of her though, if she DID do that, because it's not her place to tell you what hairstyle to wear, that's your choice.
SkaterChic 0
her wife already had lice -_-
genius_man16 1
"Nits R us" lmao #20 wins. But I was wondering the same thing. I mean how does that work? I really want to know the rest of this story.
pissantpunk 0
I'm really wondering that myself #20.
theRovingMage 0
Simple to fix. Soak your hair (and ponytail) in white vinegar and leave it to set for several hours. It dissolves the lice so you don't need to cut.
bnwranbo 2
Man, that sucks... I would NEVER make my boyfriend cut his hair, in fact, I'm upset when he does x.x Although, you might be like my ex & just NOT look good with long hair....
GDinNJ 0
Ponytail. Who looks good with a ponytail? And obviously by "who" I specifically mean men.
paperfox_fml 0
I know several blokes who look good with ponytails. We are thinking about the same thing, right? Where someone has long hair all over their head and ties it all back with a hair elastic? Either you have peculiar taste in manly hairstyles ('cause really, what's wrong with a ponytail?!), or you're thinking a ponytail is where a bloke has mostly short hair, with a nasty little dangly rat tail hanging at the nape of their neck.