Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML
Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, I’ve been growing dreads for two years after I lost my hair to chemo. After visiting my boyfriend’s family, we all contracted lice from the kids. Even though I did the shampoo and treatment, my locks are too coiled to effectively comb out all the nits. I have to shave my head again. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, 2 hours before a 13-hour flight, I found out I had head lice. I'm a 24-year-old woman. FML
Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pittsports87 0
YDI for being a hippy
Greendarthpotato 0
That is gross.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (356)
Qup 0
what a bitch. you really don't have to cut it off. I got rid of my daughters lice by covering her hair (every bit) with mayonaise then wrapping it with clear plastic wrap, left it like that for four hours. then did it again the next day. of course you still have to do the nit picking, but at least they're dead. makes for a great conditioner, too!
helpmeiamblind 0
What a ****** bitch! my ex-wife lit my beard on fire once cause she wanted me to shave it off. Why are woman such stupid selfish bitches? FYL dude and **** her! I'd leave her ass.
stereostereo 0
your wife is a bitch.
kath91 0
You don't have to cut it, you can kill the lice with special shampoo and a nit comb...
bexox 0
I bet you complain a lot about the economy. Well, now you can get a good job! :)
cucumberfabulous 7
HAHAHAH!!! Nice one! =)
nedthehead 0
As a man currently sporting a ponytail, I truly feel your loss. Screw all the jerks who tell you ponytails are weird. They can't get past the hair to see how cool you truly are. Especially your wife. Why don't you try giving her head lice, and then having her cut her hair? ;)
jjenniferr05 0
Ew, you haven't cut your hair for 10 years?!
SkaterChic 0
probably trimmed it to keep it healthy...
voveraite 7
Wow... what's up with all the rednecks claiming it is wrong for a man to grow long hair? Long, *well kept* hair on a man is wOOt! in my eyes. OP, your wife sounds controlling and borderline abusive, you should sit her down for a talk, and establish some boundaries. I'm only growing my hair since 2001 (and am a girl), but if someone threatened its integrity, I'd go berserk!
skullbuster 0
What do rednecks have to do with anything - I've come across a fair number of rednecks with ponytails who also enjoy NASCAR on the weekends.. I don't think the redneck community has anything against men growing long hair... do they?
orange_colin 0
ydi for having a pony-tail. thats not manly.
TheLoneWolf87 4
The name colin isnt too manly either
dozie 0
Am I the only one who got distracted about reading about your wife "...giving you head..." ....then I saw the next word, and thought, "oh...not where I thought you were going with the story..."