Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
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Top comments
chico86 2
Yet another soon to be single mom!
bayli 12
You must have some pretty magical sperm.
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Comments (184)
kalbrek009 20
Obviously she can: Add a bed, Subtract her clothes, Divide her legs & Multiply...but is either A: too stupid to realize you can't be the father, B: hopes you're too stupid to realize you're not the father, or C: soooo stupid that she wanted to get a head start on making a family & thinks you'll just go along with it...time to kick her stupidity to the curb. You're better off without that kind of crap & better off NOT being asked/expected to be a father before you are ready & want to be one (with someone who has at least an ounce of honesty, dignity, trust & faithfulness for the both of you).
daps29 11
Well then,...**** her!
lajaynay 15
No. You're 13, get off of here and wash your mouth with soap.
SluggerJ 7
Mary Show? Lol jk
emchocolat_fml 25
What surprises me is that she told you she was expecting although she must know perfectly well that you wouldn't appreciate her doing that with someone else while you weren't there. Either she's daft, or she thinks you are. Anyway, I'm glad you found out before the baby was born and you got embroiled in DNA tests and official paperwork.
mercymedical 6
Ohhh. I think you meant ex girlfriend. I was confused... O_o
loohoozuuhuur 13
Maybe he was abroad for 7 months or something.
jackzana 13
Woah! Should've used a condom for that phone sex... oh no wait...
rachelbrusa 2
I have a feeling that you are not the father.... Just a feeling.
urbanimpression 6
What a *****!
freshx_fml 6
Think she saved your last used rubber cryogenically? I hate it when that happens...
laden_swallow09 35
Look at it this way: no child support to worry about!