Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
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Top comments
chico86 2
Yet another soon to be single mom!
bayli 12
You must have some pretty magical sperm.
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Comments (184)
Jinxx7 0
Doesn't she remember that piece of info when she told you?
ICastillo 25
Take her ass to Maury Op and get the lye ditector test!!
Schizomaniac 24
THE WHAT?
ICastillo 25
Son of a bitch I didn't see #6 comment.
bestnameright 14
Hate to be a spelling nazi but you really should know how to spell "lie"
ICastillo 25
Son of a bitch I meant *lie this damn phone auto corrected me. Just thumb me down now.
dolphins_penny 5
lie detector.....looks like ur trying to spell lye (which is a very basic cleanser) dictator....and lie detector can not be used in any court establishment as proof of anything. however a DNA test (such as a paternity test) can be used in court. and that proves beyond a reasonable doubt that she's a lying bitch.
ICastillo 25
Haha thanks dolphins_penny. I guess you learn something new everyday.
Posthuman 26
Is her name Nancy? If so, then it is obviously your kid. Name him Joseph
apcchickx3 3
I actually laughed when I realized this was a King of the Hill reference.. :)
allisadawn91 8
How is she you're girlfriend if you haven't seen her in seven months?
0ops_i_died 8
*your And long distance relationships do exist believe it or not
court_f 8
Could be military posted on a training ex. Or deployed. Or school or many other reasons. Goodness.
dolphins_penny 5
I get what 47 means though, my best friends husband is deployed in Afghanistan and they Skype every month or so. sooooooo.....unless OP means he hasn't physically seen her there is Skype or emailing/texting current pictures.
YoursTru1yXo 0
Someone's trying to pin the baby....on someone can you guess who's the lucky guy...mmmhmmmmmmm
egrudy 9
You'd be surprised how many guys actually fall for that.
_wraith 15
It's really sad, too. I can't stand cheaters to begin with, but when you throw a baby into the mix and start lying about *who's* it is... well... that's real ******* low.
foxholeathiest 4
You sir sound like your in the corps.
laurenlovesjb 20
Something tells me your girlfriend is not the brightest bulb in the bunch, OP!:)
momen22 3
Ouch.
doglover100 29
Hope you called it quits.