Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML
Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
You can't see the OP's name? Derp
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...
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Comments (306)
maccagirl 0
buhbye guinea pig!!
skapunx 0
at least you have more ammo for your spud cannon ... guinea pig awaaaaay!
ccargill61 0
flush him down the toilet
SUPERGIRL111311 0
Try being the guinea pig bet he/she hates it more then you do. Give it some laxatives .
msinclair90 0
Little guy probably isn't too happy, either. He doesn't know what's going on and he has to be scared at least once a month. ):
13thstory 0
What about a laxative daily? Mix polyethylene glycol (Miralax) in his water-works for people:)
oge 0
that lil bastard would be goin in the trash can
J9DeeZy 4
what kind of meats in this stew again?
JOD96 0
My advice would be put it down :,( cuz your guinea pig's ass is gonna be really sore after you sticking your fingers up there...
benjimm1 0
do the right thing, put it out of it's misery. sounds bad but it's the only humane thing to do.
bankrupt 15
Yes 306 I agree, it is the humane thing to do. So many people think hanging on at all cost is the right thing to do but in reality sometimes the most loving, caring thing to do is let go. It is also the hardest thing to do. I think the 'hang on at all cost' people are just those who are too scared to pull the plug. This is true of animals and humans.