Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
your childhood was robbed
clancey6 4
If they were chocolate chip Chips Ahoy cookies.. I understand her reasoning..
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Comments (188)
garytg 3
If she could do that for a cookie. What would she do for a Klondike bar I wander.
garytg 3
My local cookie factory.
garytg 3
Make me a sandwich while your at it.
ittsdann 6
Good save 31 haha
lovepandorasaver 11
I wonder how amazing a cookie would taste if I just discovered it now, well dive in OP and enjoy. I doubt momma is going to get any chocolatey treats any time soon haha.
loserboii 11
On the bright side there is less sugar in your body? **** that cookies are tasty.
Warden1986 16
Time to have a chocolate ice cream with hot fudge with brownies in it and chocolate milk. Chocolate dream right there, and tell your mom to piss off.
xBrookiee_Babyyx 0
i wish my parents had done that to me bc i wouldnt be such a sugarholic now
DocBastard 40
Hm...my parents always told me I was allergic to money, and that's why they never gave me any. I wonder...
stevenJB 25
And now your a doctor. :)
Welshite 40
Well considering that "paper" money is just linen and cotton you should have run around naked (due to your allergy, of course) until they admitted the allergy was false.
verkaderk 9
Child abuse. It would be a crime for people to vote as a YDI
klx125cross 9
Parents r such jerks somtimes
HarleyQuinnFox 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just remember she did it to you. You can do it to your kids. its your right as a parent. Like bad names and lying about santa. That santa thing hurts more than a few years of no chocolate
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah let's rob our kids of their childhood and make them grow up real early! Screw their feelings, destroy their pathetic innocence... Oh sweet Jebus I can't go on with this for so long. Please don't have kids.
VooDooCarrie91 19
And this is why all of the 13 year old girls think they're ready for a baby. Don't deny your kids a right to be kids.
redmane 21
When I found out about Santa not being real I didn't really give a ****. I was 7. I didn't care about the story. I just wanted presents.
beaglelover22 3
Wait!! SANTA'S NOT REAL???!!!!!
love2killu 21
Lmao same
klovely22 13
So you have never had chocolate, EVER !!? Some one get OP a Snickers bar!!