Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
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Top comments
MandyMeow_fml 18
That's true motherly love
emilyjgraham 34
I'm sure you'll understand one day, not that every mother wants to use violence, but how stressful having a child can be. Maybe your mother went through post natal depression but wasn't diagnosed, it happens. Just let it slide, I'm sure she's happy now. She might not want to remember the feelings she had. :)
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Comments (179)
QueenSaru 28
1. Shame on you for reading your mum's diary. How can you 'not help it'? Did you fall face first into the pages and absorb the words through osmosis? 2. Being a parent is STRESSFUL. I was allergic to breastmilk, I had colic, and I screamed (literally) for the first six months of my life. My parents had to look after me in shifts between working, night school (for my mum), and looking after my older brother. My dad has said that he can fully understand how people with less patience could snap and harm their child, even if it's not something they would ever consider themselves "able" to do in a NORMAL situation. No sleep and high stress can break you, and that's not even including the possibility of post partum depression. OP, let it go. You were in the wrong for being nosy, and her inner thoughts are not yours to know. If all you have of your mother is good memories, there's no reason to believe this is something you should worry about. This is not a FYL or a YDI, it's just life.
BobbieH 19
Many new parents have difficulties. You shouldn't have read personal writings and you shouldn't judge your mom over it. She didn't dunk you or throw you so obviously her frustration just needed to come out. It's healthy to get those thoughts out instead of acting on them. You brought this on yourself, you deserve it and you should see things things from their perspective before you judge.
mario2012 18
She never did?
Teabubbles 8
ehh as much as i thought that 54, about hoping she didnt have a child at such a young age, i wouldnt automatically assume thay she doesnt tend to responsibilities to her child. Especially since she mentions she plays games and such. Everyone has different stresses in life, im glad her child is being tend to. :)
Teabubbles 8
sorry, your a guy* i dodnt realize that i just read 54 and 61's comment. but i hope your child is doing fine! :) Cant judge too much these days, everyone has an unusual case in their life.
BigSexy123 11
That's probably not the case at all, and also you're a rambling idiot. Way to pull all the stops on the guilt trip, by the way. Some people get curious, and clearly she wasn't using it anymore. Get the hell over it.
perdix 31
This story separates the parents from the non-parents. Non-parents: OMG! That's horrible! Parents: Why was she dumb enough to write that shit down?
QueenSaru 28
Haha, seriously. Though my parents do remind me that had I been born first, I'd be an only child. XD
perdix 31
#92, that's funny. I was the first-born and I was such a wonderful baby (no one knows where it all went wrong ;) ), that my folks thought parenting was easy. So, they had my brother, and he was a typical baby, so they thought they'd try two out of three, but my sister came out normal, too. They quit after that because they realized they were lucky to have one Superbaby. A fact which I lord over my brother and sister to this day :)
QueenSaru 28
Haha, my brother was the world's most peaceful and angelic baby, well-behaved and ate anything you gave him. I was allergic to everything including breast milk, and screamed from colic for six months. XD My poor parents got a shock with me, that's for sure!
outoftown 27
It's not just parents. When I first started babysitting, I had to keep reminding myself that if I killed the kid, I wouldn't get paid.
WithinEPICA 4
parents... -_-
cameronman9 2
What does op mean
Myo_fml 20
All mothers experience this. I was my mother's first baby and she has said that back then she wanted to smother me or drown me. Babies just push people to their limits, that's all.
courtneyann211 10
Not all mothers do. I've got 5 1/2 week old twins and honestly, I enjoy getting up in the middle of the night or staying up all night due to a screaming baby or 2. You learn to take power naps even if it's for 30 minutes here and there.