Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
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Top comments
MandyMeow_fml 18
That's true motherly love
emilyjgraham 34
I'm sure you'll understand one day, not that every mother wants to use violence, but how stressful having a child can be. Maybe your mother went through post natal depression but wasn't diagnosed, it happens. Just let it slide, I'm sure she's happy now. She might not want to remember the feelings she had. :)
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Comments (179)
klovely22 13
Wait until you have your first child, then you will understand. It's a good thing she wrote it down. There are those woman who have acted out their feelings and your mom wasn't one of them. Be grateful that you are alive.
calivianya 29
Have you ever been around an infant 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? I'm glad that I haven't - dealing with them for a couple of hours at a time is hard enough. I'm always a little bit surprised that there aren't more overwhelmed mothers killing themselves, or hurting their children, than there already are.
pipc 10
The point is she didn't, that's love.
ideasrule 13
You blatantly violated your mother's privacy, and are now complaining because, through your own disrespectful act, you found out something you should have never known? A diary is supposed to be a highly personal space for expressing emotions, not a PR stunt intended for the whole world to see. I guarantee that if you kept a diary and were honest to it, it would contain plenty of your "skeletons in the closet". Like it or not, it's entirely normal for parents to feel frustrated about their children. I highly doubt your mother would have actually hurt you; the diary was just her way of venting her emotions.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm sure glad you're able to construct a paragraph...
laurenlovesjb 20
Keep in mind parenting and infant is extremely stressful because the child can't do anything for itself. Your mom also might have had some sort of depression caused by having you, and just never got help for it, or didn't know she had it. My mom told me when I was 1 week old she was so stressed that she would fantasize about giving me up for adoption. Now she loves me with all her heart. Don't sweat it OP, she loves you now:)
laurenlovesjb 20
*an not and
Bloobloke 12
Curiosity killed the cat. Thankfully for you, your mother didn't do the same.
bobleheadNS 0
You all have cancer
chosha_fml 27
But she DIDN'T. That's what matters.
wubbazugg 5
PND can be an unholy bitch. Be glad she got through it.