Macy
Italy
Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
alexbobalex
Aland Islands
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Crying
It's toast
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
anon
Dublin, United States
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Goody2shoes
India
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
thebravelittletoaster
United Kingdom
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
ID10t
United States
Smoking is bad
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
12693
Perth, Australia
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Anonymous
Mccomb, United States
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Top comments
holagranola 15
maybe you should explain to her that toasters, are for toast.
The_Weirdo 10
74. commenting fail?
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Comments (140)
FallonFerSure 6
FYL
eminemchick 19
new method of lighting cigarettes i assume.xD
eminemchick 19
new method of lighting cigarettes i assume.xD
flockz 20
does OPs dad put his crack in the blender too?
imacreeper 3
well that's a new way of second hand smoking!
soccer4life156 0
seriously if you are just gonna put fyl please refrain from posting a comment
YacL 15
It's a legit comment, but short enough to be able to be the first one.
iSitt 0
they didn't catch on fire?
eshhayz 0
parenting fail
eshhayz 0
parenting fail
eshhayz 0
parenting fail
The_Weirdo 10
74. commenting fail?
princessRiRi97 0
Does you little sister happen to fill her sippy cup with her buddy john adams...?
FarSide 23
W....T....F????
FarSide 23
Absolutely disgusting and hilarious at the same time. Now this is a classic FML!
liv4444 0
ew?
Suchagoonnn 4
better than a dead mouse.
bbucaro98 0
fire hazards FTW
holagranola 15
maybe you should explain to her that toasters, are for toast.
soccer4life156 0
Check the blender... there may be drugs
Hotlanta 5
toasters are for bread, witch makes toast.....
Big_Red_138 3
I'm kind of curious as to how OP found the cigarettes in the toaster in the first place, do they look in there to check and see if it's actually toasting? Or maybe they found them while sticking their fork in there...just an idea.
FMLsOhilarious 6
#33 witch? lol...unless the bread is toasted by a witch who flies on a broomstick, then which is the word you want to use.
pink_raindrops 26
#80 I'm not sure if this is what the OP did to find them, but every so often I clean out the toaster by popping off the bottom to get all the crumbs. I usually do this when i notice its getting dirty or if you can smell burning because of the stuff there. I'm guessing cigarette butts would have an awful burn smell.
livvyluvlaf 8
holagranola those are some pretty long fingers you got there :)
OceanBreathesSal 5
80 sometimes before I make toast I flip the toaster over the sink to get some crumbs out. idk if OP did that but ya
iwtbmjg117 0
so hows the toast taste
JesusFishTaco 5
Like warm bread.
eminemchick 19
^win
dyble95 0
win is way over used. *sigh*
mackop 0
your mom is way overused
b70valkyrie 0
saves wasting money on lighters too
stargirl528 0
haha
wolve86 0
How did you not notice the nasty taste on your food?
peacelovepugs 7
lol
shulgafish 0
wouldn't u notice smokey toast?
whatevermajorlos 0
it beats rat droppings...
clownman 0
beats a dead rat!
ifailplzinsultme 0
Add gasoline to teach her a lesson
User1518 6
Haha :P
youngbuck10 9
Cigarette butts cannot catch gasoline on fire. It's not an open flame. You would have to flick the whole lit cigarette pretty damn hard to create a spark which ignites gasoline. Seriously, spill some gas on the ground and throw a lit cigarette on it, it puts it out.
SaraBOO716 0
It doesn't have to be direct contact. It can also be the fumes from gasoline.
youngbuck10 9
Fumes can catch a lighter on fire, not a lit cigarette. It is NOT an open flame.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Damn it! Thought I had a good idea there
ariannaimelda 7
what a creative place for an ashtray
Luvmehateme292 0
Yes...yes there will be buttsex...
Nikki_ASW 0
Maybe she was trying to light them using the toaster, but accidentally dropped them inside it?
ohSNAPyall 27
this would only make sense if they are full length, and she didn't learn from her mistakes
TheDrifter 24
The toaster would light them and they'd burn to butts. She could also be an alcoholic, drunks tend to screw up the same things over and over.