Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
Had this happen to me. Not fun at all. Hope he's okay and don't feel too bad, you forgot. It happens occasionally
Redskin9999 19
Should have made your username "nut hunter." Really missed your chance there
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Comments (133)
Tsukiyomi 16
Wait, why in the leg?
PennyLane27 32
That's where you jab the epinephrine.
bleedingglitter 24
I've never known anyone with a nut allergy so I wouldn't think twice about what I ate before kissing a new boyfriend too. Life has a learning curve.
Violord 13
If he doesn't break up with you, he's a keeper
mmmxr 11
FML people are so harsh! Yes I know that she should have been more careful, but I'm sure she already knows that. She probably already feels horrible and you guys are probably not helping with that.
sja005 3
Allergies are a very serious thing! She has no excuse for forgetting something like this. She should feel terrible. She almost killed him.
SneezyBear 27
#116 - Riiiight, because *obviously* people forget things deliberately. You know, it's not as if it's an unconscious process you can't control or anything.
badgercheese94 16
First you poison him with hazelnuts, then you stab him with a knife. Tsk tsk!
ohSNAPyall 27
It's OK to kiss your boyfriend even when he doesn't bring you flowers.
Saraishi 25
That's a strong allergy.
sja005 3
If I were him, I would break up with someone who couldn't take the time to remember not to kill me.
hardy24 9
Thank god for Epi-Pens
tnin4u 5
I'm not sure why but I thought she was going to say she gave him a BJ and he had an allergic reaction.