Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
Had this happen to me. Not fun at all. Hope he's okay and don't feel too bad, you forgot. It happens occasionally
Redskin9999 19
Should have made your username "nut hunter." Really missed your chance there
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Comments (133)
jjmack34 15
It happens, no worries sorry for the bad luck but you should be more careful, and hey at least you were there to help him as well!
Kaalschneid 21
been there, similar allergy, similar situation. I promise, he likes you, if he forgives you. if he doesn't, sorry; we suck at that stuff.
lazyslumber 18
Why did you have to stab him?
bibobobonnor 8
While the wording could've been better, I think OP meant stabbed with an epi pen
blackvyper 8
Next time tell him to man up!
bibobobonnor 8
I have a feeling that telling him to man up, wouldn't do so much when his body is going into anaphylactic shock
epilepticloh 20
My mom once forgot I had a peanut allergy and gave me a Nutella sandwich and peanut butter sand which fir school
Overlord247 20
I can understand a new boyfriend/girlfriend. But your MOM? Wow.
alwaysstabbing 19
you stabbed him in the leg.. with a knife?
Sheh_fml 25
Guys, she stabbed him with an epi pen... Either a lot of commentators are pretty ignorant of allergies, or a lot are making the same awful joke.
Lola26042002 12
How did you forget your boyfriend has nut allergies?
cxlvin 10
At least you would pass a nurse exam if it involved, that .
writerchic85 26
Natural selection at work