Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
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Top comments
shrey 12
Why would u have sex if his family is in the room next to you?
smackaroonial 20
Quality family entertainment!
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Comments (54)
Bloink 25
at least they laughed at you instead of hating you
Swandive235 27
Why would you do it with his family within earshot?
False_Stupidity 42
A possibility is that the family didn't hear you at all but were laughing at something totally unrelated. However, you being so insecure about talking dirty assumed it was directed at you.
cityofdragonfire 8
At that moment, you should of pulled out a saxaphone.
kinky44 28
Wah wah waaaaaaah.
gurbism 16
At least they responded by laughing instead of barging in the room and making a scene. Maybe next time wait until no one is home?
captainsmegma 12
Your not supposed to scream your dirty talk.
sunnyray812 42
What??
sweetest_jenn 18
Next time, wait until the party poopers aren't within earshot before you rehearse your bedroom speeches. It's nerve wracking enough as it is without people laughing at your expense.
oJoy 11
oh dear,.the shame, wouldn't have done.it knowing his family was there
vikky538 29
you can declare your boyfriend's family as modern family...
derp_taco 22
OP are you sure he wasn't on speaker and that's why they heard you.