anon
United States
Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Mojo_Jojo
China
Couch action
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Mojo
United Kingdom
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
manderz?
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Beach Haven, United States
Love is…
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Anonymous
Clarksville, United States
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
jswag2004
Elgin, United States
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Sad_Happy_Gorl
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Slobber
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
dontask
United States
Classy
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
ug
Canada
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Anonymous
United States
Creeped out of here
Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML
Top comments
Blueglasscup 18
At least you went on a date with your crush!
hook_em 0
just one question. how do you know what a dying slug feels like on your lips? do you eat them things or something?
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Comments (208)
paulapogo1995 0
ahh I know how you feel...the same thing happened to me with my crush but we worked on it and I believe you should also
Skatejock21 0
wtf? dying slug? that's mental. I mean... when people say that someone is bad at having sex or kissing, it's all mental. Yeah I can understand practice, nobody is a perfect kisser, but in your case... that's just messed up. I've been married for 19 years, and it's all mental. It's only bad if you put that thought in your mind. Your mind controls the kissing, the lips just do the work. lol ever look at the reality of it?
elisabeth1_fml 0
that for me is a total turn off. if he can't kiss properly i say goodbye
chancellortrab 0
So if he was your soulmate, a person who makes you happier than anything you'd still leave him if he couldn't kiss? what's with society?
megpie993 0
gross....
Blue87 4
hahahaha
niralz16 0
you know how a dieing slug kisses?? o.O
THEgirlNEXTdoor0_fml 8
dont expect much of people
dancerNsinger4li 0
Sooo who's the sloppy kisser, you or him? :^)
rainer13 11
and that just totally ruined my appetite...
lifesabch 0
guys you like are not who you think they are. you only find out later on...