Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML
Today, I started a new workout routine to get fit. After watching a bunch of online videos, I thought I could jump right in. I overdid it on squats and now can’t sit down without grunting like a wounded animal. I’m now having to climb stairs on all fours. FML
Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML
Today, I was proud of going to the gym 3 times a week (instead of once a week) to get in relative shape. I even started doing light cardio and (I thought) started to eat better. I've gained six pounds, despite watching what I eat and even increasing the resistance on the exercise bike that I use. FML
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.
dr_snow_bear 29
A small start is better than no start. Good luck!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
NurseAbi 10
Well done for getting started, it's the hardest step!
jpparkenbone 1
Well, this is probably going to be buried but here goes: if you really are committed to losing weight, I recommend trying to take part in a weight loss study (preferably with another person to help keep you honest). I recommend a weight loss study because most have classes for the people in their studies about diet. Diet is the key issue for weight loss, because most people really don't realize what they're putting into their bodies. Counting calories and grams of fat will accomplish far more for you than exercise will (though I do recommend continuing with exercise). You can probably find a weight loss study at your nearest hospital (more likely if they are a learning hospital, or associated with a university).
sxm 13
At least you started good luck and I hope you achieve your goal.
fatlemonjefferso 8
Keep on going! Don't worry about passing gas! Good luck!
khildebrand2294 9
I don't think that that's what "feel the burn" is supposed to mean...
StzaCrack666 18
good on you. starting excersizing is the hardest part of getting in shape
Slackness 10
Impressed you started; I have not yet, much praise to your start and determination. non-FML for you my friend. Much love.
rockfreak333 7
Keep at it buddy, you'll get there mate
rachaelb07 6
Good for you for getting started! :)
faireanjell 5
Don't worry about it.. Congratulations on starting on a healthy program and keep going !