Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, I still don’t know how to act in front of my mother in law. She thinks that the Earth is flat and told her kids that all sunscreens cause cancer. She also has other theories that make me feel weird. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML
Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-vax Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML
Today, and in the past few weeks, my new girlfriend revealed she doesn’t think COVID is real, the vaccine is a government tracking chip, thinks Scientology makes sense, global warming is a ruse, poor people are poor because they’re lazy… Oh and she always votes Conservative. Boy, can I pick em. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
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Top comments
Nhayaa 21
And I think you should try to convince her to find a new boyfriend...
inappropes 31
That's why I always come back with even more absurd conspiracies. "Psshhhh, you believe in the flat earth? Open your eyes lemming, it's a hexagon."
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Comments (23)
katluvr 22
I'm old, ok. My brother is 70 and recently remarried. In our lat phone conversation he told me that Hillary is part of a child pornography ring and in fact, eats babies. His new wife also has him going to some off-beat church based on a passage in Genesis about giants, "and the government is hiding the truth about it from us. " Oh, and he refers to our Jewish ancestors as "kikes." I don't know if this is mass hysteria, mass hypnotism, or literally the end of the world.
Inez333 13
OP here. This happened a few months ago but was only just now posted. My aunt, while a wonderful person, was always super gullible. Before she had dated the guy, she had already believed in the reptile thing, but she wasn't nearly as pushy with that belief as she is now. Every time she dates a new guy, she picks up whatever habits they have because she thinks they'll like her better or something like that. Oh and for those curious, she actually did break up with him... but she still holds those really weird beliefs.
zuckerburg 21
recruit her to your cult, charge monthly fees, profit.