Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
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Top comments
jonnymohio 2
Turnabout is fair play. Point at her boobs and laugh.
Shady06 0
lolz that sucks xD all you gotta tell her is..."baby it's not about the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean" :D than stick it in her mouth lolz
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Comments (81)
randomchick15 0
Maybe she remembered a joke, or maybe ur small
Mayshod 3
The girl of your dreams doesn't treat you like that. I'd have told her to get her fat ass out of my bed and never spoken to her again. Tell her that her ****** reminds you of a bulldog eating mayonnaise and that you are unsettled by looking at it.
BullletProof 5
**** people and this whole "it needs to be big" bullshit. vags come in all sizes too. I for one am scared as shit of having sex with my boyfriend because he's HUGE and im tiny. Dont worry bout it, not all wemon are loose and flappy.
WillxClassic 1
Call her a fat cow that should even the playing field
suntann3r 5
She was probably...uh...intimidated by the size of it. That's it!
sdroze1389 31
what's he supposed to do?! yell at it till it gets bigger? everyone get a bad hand once in their lives, he got not huge dick but will probably miss getting cancer our something Shitty.
donkmomes 6
It's time to die now
tastychickens 13
Did you laugh at how huge and worn out her ****** was? Her laughter tells me she needs something the size an arm to satisfy her! What a bitch.