Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
Bunbu 8
I think if I was with a guy and that happened, I'd ask if he wanted to cuddle until he was ready again. D: Also, she's a bitch.
yasmina212 1
Congratulations on not breaking your dry spell.
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Comments (83)
DaBlankoMan 0
WIN
DarkPrince_fml 0
did he notice that he said as she was putting on the condum
allplayedout 20
as I've always said...wax one before you see a chick for a date or when you bring her home, take a quick thirty seconds in the bathroom. might take longer to warm up after that, but otherwise, problem solved.
ARScratch 0
I honestly don't understand how a guy can cum so fast.. really i don't. it takes me a little over an hour or so to cum and when hearing about pre ejaculation it never fails to leave my mind-a-boggled o.o
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Over an hour? seriously, buddy, while women will love you for it, there's something wrong if you can't get under an hour. You should see a doctor. Really.
xteldridgex 0
agreed. lasting long can be nice, but if you can't make a quickie a quickie, there is something wrong, either that or your girls are horrible lays. hah!
dessymania 0
well FYL cuz it ruins sex for you for a while. YDI for waiting 2 years
geez23 0
did you at least let her take the doggy bag with her?
xteldridgex 0
I'll give you a tip. it's called, MASTURBATION. kinda like a pregame warm-up. plus, she's a bitch. she should have understood you can't control yourself. what a ****. move on dawg. Jessica Starr, search her on www.youjizz.com. enjoy
lauraameliia 0
good that she left, if I was you I would have kicked her out anyway. at least now you can be thankful that you didn't have sex with a total thoughtless bitch. :)
just_sayin_81 4
such a loser, I expect you can look forward to an even longer dry spell...
Creamysweeps 5
FYL