Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bunbu 8
I think if I was with a guy and that happened, I'd ask if he wanted to cuddle until he was ready again. D: Also, she's a bitch.
yasmina212 1
Congratulations on not breaking your dry spell.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
HuDanny 0
LOL@ 2
Epic_Fail_Sauce 0
My girlfriend went to slip me a condom and i JIZZED. IN. MY PANTS! xDDDDD
MrWombastic 0
Wauw, dude.. that sucks for you man... One time a girl I had a mad crush on started to give me head for the 1st time, I couldn't hold it back and after about 30sec. I came.. She had the best reaction ever! She told me she took it as a compliment to her obvious skills. idk if it was a lie! sure as hell helped me past my embarresment and into round nr 2 which took more then long enough. so it doesn't have to b the end :) gl with that dry spell xD
mhwang 0
holy...crap...
zeroprojekt 0
Damn, that's rough. A little friendly advice - next time you know you've got a chance to dip your tip, why don't you go ahead and rub one out first. If you got a bullet in the chamber, it's definitely not on your side man, that one's gonna be ready to fire off when you least expect it. Just pre-game it and you should be better off shooting for the last quarter.
genius_man16 1
lmao @ all the slang words that was awesome @OP: really? I've heard about premature ejaculation but....dayum
Had_Better_Days 0
Amen to 31...you cant go out with a loaded gun, someones bound to get hurt..only this time the gun backfired and hurt you! Clean the barrell out b4 you hit the town!
frayedwire 0
I actually think he's lucky. My first time took 15 minutes. I've never had something release me that quickly. I think it'd be fun and I'm missing out.
22_fml 0
just wow.......
sasquatch282 0
You should have jerked off before she got there...c'mon-common sense.
Dooms_day 5
lol wow