Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I tried to carry all my grocery bags in one trip. I was doing great until the plastic handles stretched and snapped in the parking lot. A carton of eggs exploded, an avocado rolled under a car, and a bottle of wine shattered. Someone asked if I needed help. I said no because I was too embarrassed. FML
Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
You definitely deserved it.
tswizz 13
You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?
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Comments (125)
MeowsLikaLion 4
karma's only a bitch if you are.
blackjackandcoke 9
YDI for being immature. Egging a house, really? How old are you OP? 13? Grow up.
wave7891 0
Karma's only a bitch if you are...
northbaldwinbabe 18
that's illegal. 2 diff. groups of kids egged my house-1 in 2011, and 1 in 2012. my dad called the cops each time, they got it put on their permanent record, and my dad made them power wash my porch where they egged my house. they only did it cause they hated me. well, now everyone in North Baldwin, PA knows to not do something stupid to me that's illegal, and I won't call the cops. but seriously, please refrain from doing this, or you can be arrested for it.
alpacaman 5
Karma's only a bitch if you are.
TallMist 32
So many egg comments, I'm getting hungry.
northbaldwinbabe 18
MY home was egged 6 times. Yup, you heard me, 6 times by kids that hated me. he can press charges on you with these charges: misdemeanor, battery assault, criminal damage, vandalism, trespassing, breaking and entering, damage to property, public nuisance, criminal offense, and more.
littlexlune 16
You were about to do something hella dumb and childish, what did you expect? Grow up
Fireashes250 16
How mature. You really deserved that one, I mean, you can get arrested for doing that. Come on now.
pompomkiwi 14
Karma that bitch!