Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, my brother and I took an hour long train home. I'd got up early, so I dozed a little bit in the train. I woke up to people looking at me at me. Thinking I slayed my outfit or something, my brother sent me a 5 minute video of me snoring so damn loud with my ugly mouth hanging open, and other passengers laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
x0x_KissOfDeath 0
#5, you fart, everybody farts, does that make you fat? maybe, maybe not..but you come off rude and ignorant. but honestly...thats awesome!
Brandosyn 0
Man you missed out on the obvious retort to that little kid, namely lifting one cheek and squeezing for all you were worth. Hell even if you royally sharted your pants it woulda been totally worth it...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (37)
cineturtle 0
ugh alcohol and lots of indian food....not a good combination. and i agree with #7
AuriPantz 0
XD I lol'd.
savetherainfores_fml 0
I want to go to India to see the endangered tiger did you know there are more tigers in north America(in zoos and stuff like that) than in natural homeland Asia
constantine91 0
Wtf?
mollyjynxjax 28
What the **** does that have to do with this FML?
badabing94 0
I ate amazing homemade Indian food at my dads business friend's house and had such bad gas I had to excuse myself from most of my classes the next day to fart my brains out in the bathroom.
signuplogin 1
Tmi I didnt have to know that
christine_d 0
thats hilarious!
imnutsss 0
damn, now I want some Indian food :(
Pizzellee 1
I read this and laughed for like 5 min straight.
constantine91 0
I don't think I could handle a train ride after a night of drinking.
Sammiches 12
I'm feeling a bit peckish as well.
darkfireflame 15
Probably was noxious for them, so a little small comfort.