Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, my brother and I took an hour long train home. I'd got up early, so I dozed a little bit in the train. I woke up to people looking at me at me. Thinking I slayed my outfit or something, my brother sent me a 5 minute video of me snoring so damn loud with my ugly mouth hanging open, and other passengers laughing. FML
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Top comments
x0x_KissOfDeath 0
#5, you fart, everybody farts, does that make you fat? maybe, maybe not..but you come off rude and ignorant. but honestly...thats awesome!
Brandosyn 0
Man you missed out on the obvious retort to that little kid, namely lifting one cheek and squeezing for all you were worth. Hell even if you royally sharted your pants it woulda been totally worth it...
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Comments (37)
lozominebox 13
What a shituation you were in.
snarkytruth 37
THats rough. Dont know who had it worse your embarassment or their toxic breathing conditions while you were oblivious to the stank. Hope you never have to see them again because I doubt you curried their favor.
ADBurns 22
Brilliant :))
733yoda_fml 19
I fart in your general direction!
andrmac 25
Well at least for the rest of the ride you didn't have to hide it. You could just let rip as much as you wanted being the farting man.