Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
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Top comments
x805xUnknown 6
It's impossible too drown when no water is present, Dumbass.
nimasag1 0
I'm not fat, I'm fluffy
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Comments (136)
Kartor 6
i moderated this...hell yess
LtChicken 0
well lose some weight godamn. my brother lost close to 50 pounds just from watching his caloric intake
Sun_Kissed18 25
I second this, unless you want to almost die again
nimasag1 0
I'm not fat, I'm fluffy
alexandra1313 0
I think I just died a little . . .
Ragnir 0
OP you wouldn't have to sleep in class if you got adequate sleep before hand, on the bright side at least you know if you don't have a pillow you can put your head on your arm instead, provided you don't "drown" in it.
upintheorange 5
you look like Ernie from George lopez. I mean that in the nicest way possible. when I saw your picture, I just thought of Ernie. not insulting you, just observing.
sweetdreams999 0
this made me lol. imagine what the kids thought that saw it. haha!
jplumbob 4
damn. lookin good.
laideehawk 6
"Tonight on the news at 10!!! Student drowns in own arm fat! Fellow students are terrified as EMT's work to extricate student's face from their own upper arm with the jaws of life!"
Squirt1998 0
WIN!
redtigerlily 5
lame
icecreamman222 0
haha loserrrrrrrrrrrrė
naruske 4
did it taste like chicken?