Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
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Top comments
satomi_ishida 0
Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-
MassEffectNerd 0
weirder things have happend
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Comments (100)
MassEffectNerd 0
weirder things have happend
mariluvs 0
true
anorexicbarbie 8
I love mass effect too! :)
laurabev 9
Maybe you should use the leftover bottle to make one of those bonsai kittens...
buzz18 7
I'd of laughed :D
DaveOnDope 4
hurted too much
iSitt 0
he thinks he made you faint from fright.
Seb_Beats_Ballin 0
so true bro
urdirtyolduncle 15
lol too much of anything is a bad thing
tryttyryr 0
Blah blah blah, less talking more plugging my face with ****.
tralalafifa 0
Wtf?
DaDezza244 31
What kind of A person are you #4? Heartless Bitch
19nick97 0
Wow u sound like a nerd who passes out from water
baralotta 0
thats not a FML, THATS ******* HILARIOUS!! XD
satomi_ishida 0
Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-
lalagirl912 0
no give him chili with his parents in it :) who knows where that's from?? *licks your tears*
OhBehaveAustin 0
you south park alcoholic
m00sh 0
hahahaha
kpop_cutie93 3
it's okay, one time I was choking on water too and my friends just laughed instead of helping
dragonaair 5
That is pretty hilarious!
redrookie 0
agreed # 6. tht just sounds REALLY funny I don't c the FML in tht
DocBastard 40
Is there something wrong with your "a" key, or are you just savoring the 14 milliseconds that you saved typing "tht" instead of "that"?
7lollypop7 0
Doc, I love you.
Zmeilerr 22
He's married.
joooeee 3
Hey maybe his "a" key is jammed or he doesn't have a left pinky to use to type it. Don't be so discriminatory.
iluvfmls456 0
his "a" key works just fine. his comment starts with an "a"
xFalzz 0
Choking on drinking water is always comical.