Anonymous
United States
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Pissed
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
waterdog
United States
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
shalara
Amstelveen, Netherlands
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Nobody
Singapore
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
b.fritz
Saint Louis, United States
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Anonymous
India
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
thedullard
United States
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Good 2 have friends.
United States
Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML
Misterhippo
United States
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
It just goes to show that Freud was right: Subconciously, dicks are always on your mind.
lilhellian 27
Cum on op, he was just trying to lighten the mood. :)
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Comments (76)
olpally 33
Looks like we got a 13 year old bad ass on the loose! Lol. Who does that after someone faints? What a jerk.
kelseythompson 27
I'd rather have someone draw a dick on my forehead than say getting pissed on my a homeless man.. people will do messed up stuff to a helpless person just because they can.. least in this case it was harmless
ethanman82 8
If that happened to me I would have balled my eyes out.
uhohhcece 4
I would've laughed too lol.
perdix 31
He did help you -- he made you funnier.
thatnucca 36
Wrong and hilarious at the same time...
Jharrist89 12
And adults criticize kids for doing stupid shit..
Ariet 20
It might've been fun for everyone else but clearly not for OP. FYL indeed.
FitForFun 11
When life gives you opportunities to help people, remember we live in America and everyone's a comedian.
DocBastard 40
Speak for yourself, champ.
FitForFun 11
I wasn't trying to be serious, I do charity work myself when I can. I am just saying the lack of people willing to really help, rather then point things out and turn it into a joke is staggeringly small.
JessBassett 24
Sorry OP, you have my sympathy but I had to laugh!
ShakeDisPlace 10
You were fair game OP..