Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
She's got it going on!
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Body positivity week
Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Rom-com
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend who I'm crushing hard on that I like her. She gave me a look of revulsion and asked if I was joking. FML
Hit and miss
Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Good impressions last
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
PUA in training
Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
My collection of sexy garden gnomes takes offense, and they're going to recruit garden gnomes everywhere for revenge. That boy might not make it out alive.
elainebarish 8
Gnomeo, O Gnomeo, wherefore art thou?
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Comments (75)
DoomedGemini 38
Her not hearing it doesn't mean it's not said. Either way he's a total dick, at least now op knows how bad of one despite how hurt she must be right now.
hun3y206 23
People suck sometimes. Sorry OP.
ArsonistsLullaby 12
The worst thing you can ever do is believe someone else's negative opinion of you. Rejection always sucks, but you came out on top because you got to see his true character without having to subject yourself to being with such a rude person!
Tenebris1 2
Ouch. He is clearly not worthy of you. As a side note, to everyone who says it's his right not like her, True, but it's hurtful to respond with "Eww". A simple not intersted in him/her is more than good enough and far less damaging to someone's self esteem. Respect people's feelings
crack229 19
lol