Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
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Top comments
ScarletteEve 33
Now go be the criminal you've always wanted to be!
swaglesshipster 23
Fingerprints will come back, but pizza is priceless. :D
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Comments (54)
AshesNicole623 17
Better your fingers than your tongue.
ThrottleJockey 36
But the tongue heals much faster than your fingers.
AshesNicole623 17
True, but not fast enough to taste the pizza if that's what had burned, which is why I'd rather have my fingers burnt haha
berkeleyjake 13
now you can skip that step when you join the Men in Black
mswim 27
Time to go murder some bitches then, eh? Just make sure you use your right hand.
Bandicoot88 16
You did the right thing
Tannasgh 22
Ouch!
thegreat579 7
Bt the pizza is okay still right?
Look_A_Sloth 11
But at least you saved the pizza
KriKat 2
I dropped my "slice" and only the tomato hit my leg. Blisters!