Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
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Top comments
ScarletteEve 33
Now go be the criminal you've always wanted to be!
swaglesshipster 23
Fingerprints will come back, but pizza is priceless. :D
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Comments (54)
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Even dough it was hot, you grabbed it?
ThrottleJockey 36
You kneed more practice with your puns.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
I was bread to do this from a young age.
Tripartita 45
Fun fact: Marvel was considering a pizza-related accident for Deadpool's origin story. They thought a hot pizza to the face would be more relatable to this generation but ultimately decided against it.
mm12344 8
That was both fun and a fact. Thank you for sharing.
BoxFullOfLazy 25
I used to work for Papa Johns, so I feel your pain. I learned real quick to let the pizza hit the floor and to just make a new one.
Kittyphysics 21
yup, reflexes are a bitch. caught one still in the pan, early friday afternoon, 4th of july weekend. sometimes you have to just let it go.
Leauge 13
It's ok op, you can now turn to a life of crime.
LenUrban 14
explanation? how u loose fingerprints
datkenna 20
They were burned off
Kamikazek 6
That pizza was marked for death. Her saving it angered the Pizza Reaper, who took her fingerprints as tribute.
Kingbenford 12
Wait, were you eating it and dropped it or carrying the pan and dropped it?
Schmavid64 13
Wow, the MIB is just getting lazier with their identity protection methods. In all seriousness though I hope you recover well OP.
Isa_fml 20
Don't worry, they'll grow back.
redscarf_fml 8
Was a lost cause. Should have given up on it.
laurellkawes 31
Your fingertips are probably swollen, but you do have fingerprints. You'd have to burn them on something hotter than a pizza since you have many layers.