jmac
United States
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
zztopspinner
United States
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
ouch.
Stamford, United States
Not my day, is it?
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Anonymous
Seattle, United States
Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML
HarvestMoon_gal
United States
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Eleanor
Leeds, United Kingdom
Slice of life
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Godzilla’s wife
Orange, United States
Fork off
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Spice
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Top comments
punk6743 0
I used to cook, then i took a chefs knife to the knee.
PYLrulz 17
Ok, how many of those godforsaken "Arrow to Knee" jokes, or modified versions of it, will there be?!?
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Comments (137)
friisen_ 0
Fus ro dah!
zebralover23 14
Ow that would of hurt really bad if it landed on the foot though.
Swiftly 0
I used to make arrow to the knee jokes like you, but then I took as lady to the bed. ;)
Termanator141 12
I used to be a cooker like you then i took a knife to te knee
hateevryone 15
you'll live
Petey_Piie 1
At least it wasn't an arrow ;)
karmicsamadi86 9
Oh, snap!!
ArmoredDuckling 0
At least it wasn't an arrow.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Now you'll have to stop cooking and become a guard.
james3458 3
then your cousins will be out fighting dragons, and you? guard duty.
tastycat 0
I used to be a cook like you...
bizarre_ftw 22
But then you quit to peruse a career in dead Internet jokes? Oh you're doing so well for yourself *pats on back*