Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
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Top comments
The_Big_Boss 20
Wanking the gibbon...?
FMLkaiiden 8
Lmao, that sucks. All over that sucks, didn't finish, in pain, and embarrassed. Sorry to hear bro.
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Comments (128)
KiddNYC1O 22
Ah, the English and their great terms and phrases...
stephiijo 15
So I'm just really surprised that his dad came rushing in 10 seconds after he cried out for help. If it was me, I'd have to cry out, then fall down, possibly taking a lamp with me, then silence for maybe a minute.
summerjane95 5
Haha that sucks
PhishloverA 14
You should've locked your door OP
SaltukBugraHan 8
Well, was the Gibson a Les Paul?
SaltukBugraHan 8
This was supposed to be a reply to #3. Awkward...
TacoTrop 10
Little late there, pal.
rmec 0
lmfao omg xD
speaflou 2
Fpg
pdp_fml 21
Was it that exciting to be wanking off and getting a foot cramp? Sorry , you deserve it for not locking your door while your dad was home.
CustardAndPie 13
You screamed over a foot cramp? Wow, what a wuss. YDI
yenidewi 11
did u ?? ;p