Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML
Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
And he could be the Amazing Single Asshole. His superpower is making stupid statements and getting dumped SUPER fast!
NoFeet 4
Tell him he can be Super Undersized Penis Man
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Comments (119)
yeunbi 2
Then don't be a bitch
magicman13 9
Kick him in the balls.
TheDrudgeChild 4
That would only reinforce his opinion, not helping anything at all. And I feel OP's boyfriend was joking to begin with.
Slender_Man 6
Why? He's probably telling the truth.
Meettitan 14
I call being the comma! Oh... was that.... not where we were going with that?
MichellinMan 20
Everyone calm down, slenderman is here.
crakzila 4
Commas are cool ;)
magicman13 9
Lol why the thumbs downs?
Nbrandwine 7
Because you told op to kick him in the balls. That's NEVER the option. What if I kicked you in the ****** and the boobies? Pain. Sorry man, but be in the other persons shoes before you say something.
magicman13 9
I'm a guy...
XxDevilxXGt 26
I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy to get kicked in the balls, that's horrible.
Nbrandwine 7
Well, How would you like it If I smashed your balls?
DocBastard 40
And he could be the Amazing Single Asshole. His superpower is making stupid statements and getting dumped SUPER fast!
Kn0wledge123 21
G Wilikers!
Marrach 7
Good one Doc. :)
hellachillin 8
I think I've watched a porno by that name, however there were no superheros involved.
Dblocker 18
I don't think that's a great super power to have because surprisingly many people have this power.
Driveshaft 5
Sorry doc, I'm usually on your side. However that was pretty funny. Points to the BF for being funny...and YDI to op. Sorry op but if you can't see the humor there, then it is probably true.
DocBastard 40
Driveshaft - You're more than welcome to disagree with me. But I have way too much respect for my wife to even make a joke like that. She and I tease each other all the time, but we NEVER call each other names like that, even in jest. If you find that humour funny, then go with it. We don't.
andrew6p 19
75, well said. Respect is the most important in a relationship.
shireman97 6
Better than being the question mark
graffitied_love 20
Where did that come from?
MissMae93 23
35 - I'm assuming because a period can either be a menstrual cycle or a punctuation mark. As well, the "i" in bitch is for some reason an exclamation point...
ninjadinos 14
... I thought it was funny.
outoftown 27
#40, Oh, in that case: better than being the colon.
leadawg75 12
I think Meant like missing your period and the question of "oh god, am I pregnant."
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
Lol, I think the name The Period sounds indeed better than The Question Mark ^^
natewilson 9
Mysterion's Insignia is a question mark...
cyanidesandwich 21
Then he can be "super douche" if you are "the period"
ColdplaySucks 18
Together they can unite as one to piss off man kind.
NoFeet 4
Tell him he can be Super Undersized Penis Man
ButteredRetoast 4
He probably already is
Enslaved 38
I get moody as hell during that time too. And PMS? Forget about it!! However, I've learned to control my mood and not lash out on people. (Especially the ones I care about). What your boyfriend said was rude but it may be a wake up call to analyze your behavior during that time.
simplylost643 0
#10- Thank you! Some one who doesn't immediatly jump to dump him/her is always a welcome point of view.
supportcommand 17
Stop being a bitch then.
slimshadyfan123 4
Easy as 1-2-3 huh?
keven501 12
This just in " The Period" just beat up her boyfriend
klovemachine 24
This just in: "The Period" dished out a massive case of blue balls :O
perdix 31
Tell him he can be "The Question Mark" and go on a mission to answer the question, "Will I ever have sex again?"
serpentson34 0
Haha burn