Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML
Today, I learned that when you quit smoking, you get "Smoker Flu", meaning you feel like you're coming down with something really horrible. The good news is that my throat is so raw, I couldn't smoke a cigarette if I wanted to. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
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Top comments
Applesause1223 0
That's why you shouldent smoke. YDI
Jari 0
What have we learned?
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Comments (46)
doorbellgirl 0
I am alleric to nicotine so I cant ever smoke also I have ADHD and as part of my ADHD I devloped a very sensitive nose so if I smell somone smoking I get sick for hours and throw up
dioxyde420 0
First of all, ADHD has nothing to do with having a sensitive nose/doesn't cause it. If that really happens to you, it is because of some anxiety around smokers, not because of the actual smoke. Or ADHD. References: I have ADHD and study medicine.
sbuxsux11 8
simply put, you're a douchebag. while you're whining about your fake "disease" id love to blow smoke in your face
minamail25 7
I'm that way too! I get migraines when people smoke!
itstrishabtw 13
@ #15 yeah okay too bad nobody asked
Lawzen_Rainbow 7
lol ydi. read the box the patch came in
AshtonHellwig 0
If you read the fine print it says it contains carbon monoxide and could kill you. My grandpa used to smoke 30 years ago. No he has lung cancer. YDI for smoking in the first place.
animebabe 4
karma
confucious 0
r e t a r d
LaneyyLOVE 0
no shit, don't you read directions?
loveforsoccer 0
don't smoke and you wouldn't of had this problem in the first place, but at least your TRYING to stop.
pixelbox 1
You should have smoke your last stick before you put that patch on.. YDI
nicole4rmmi 0
dummy. if ur gonna quit just do it. I threw a almost whole pack of premium cigs away when i started.
StaticMatt 2
You decided to quit smoking by deciding to smoke more?