Today, I put some Gold Bond in between my legs to help reduce moisture. After I finished applying it, I discovered that the Gold Bond had Menthol in it. My crotch is on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I had a heat rash on my crotch. I asked my mom for cortisone cream. While I was putting it on, it suddenly started burning. It turns out she gave me arthritis cream. FML
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I discovered that baking soda is not the same as Gold Bond powder. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML
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Top comments
Sinshine 28
Common sense would suggest you find out what it is you're putting on and in you beforehand, not after the fact.
wanted_2_want 40
“And for that minty-fresh sensation...”
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Comments (17)
Takegami 22
At least it wasn’t a rug burn on your nuts