Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Sounds like the family needs some Anger Management courses instead of a new game.
keegs666 0
Wait, after all that you went and bought a new one?
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Comments (120)
Mirorbo 27
Sounds like the family needs some Anger Management courses instead of a new game.
I_R_Genius 3
So OP, was it the professor in the bedroom with the candle stick or was it you in the family room with the game?
WallyTheWombat 0
I like how a trip to Walmart was included in the FML. Hate that place : /
Hidan_fml 0
Hahaha, nice one 14.
KitKatKate98 0
does it really matter if OP has two dads? so what, doesn't really matter. and it's really none of your buisness.
Zesty697 0
why are canadians playing clue?
ilovechocochipz 0
kitkat, it doesn't say tht they have two dads. it says one dad, two plates. learn to read.
Bludmagnus 13
Yeah... I agree. If you cannot get through a board game without that happening, there is a lot more going on that needs to be addressed.
Shootamonkey3 0
14 the ugly girl did that one.
mrjmaster1234 0
wait isnt every family like this.....my family is exactly like this with monopoly
bbedlock_fml 7
Your family sounds a bit messed up...
percawesome 0
no, they just misunderstood OP, explain to your family that the murder takes place BEFORE the game begins. that should make your game last. well, the board and pieces anyway...
tktom7 6
I smell family therapy...
munyarl 0
Sounds like a Simpsons episode, but you know it always works out in the end! They'll all go for frosty chocolate milkshakes.
a2zx2 6
Maybe you guys shouldn't be getting a new Clue game.
mandypandypants 4
I like how this post says "one dad"..........do you have two dads?
twinmum_fml 6
it is possible that more than 1 family was playing.
percawesome 0
It's called parallelism. If OP said one kid... MY dad... two dishes etc. it would interrupt the flow of the sentence. Literary style folks~
macskapingvin 0
Also, I got the impression that this was written by the mum, not one of the kids.
percawesome 0
^true
athena3100 9
hes listing it, like saying" In all there is one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates, ect..."
ikilledaman 9
It's also fully possible that there are two dads in the family, although you guys are probably right
IneffableLullaby 13
Wow, your family knows how to have fun. ;)
amayaa_fml 7
its extreme clue, it happens.
percawesome 0
They play for KEEPS
keegs666 0
Wait, after all that you went and bought a new one?
WOW_BS 0
Playing Clue is an addiction
Frostyking 0
I'm with you man wtf get some help not a new game
Frostyking 0
I'm with you man wtf get some help not a new game
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Why would you buy a new copy of the game if playing it resulted in all of that? If you bought it with the intent to play with your family again than you are insane. If you bought it to play with someone other than just be sure to hide it from your family.
DropDead77 11
I'm gonna go buy clue!!
DaveOnDope 4
^^^Win.
sourgirl101 29
Get a clue! It's dangerous!(:
Chunkylover76 4
But only if your playing it with this family! lol
Wheredidgrungego 12
Your not actually supposed to stab your dad in the eye, with a knife, in the kitchen!
FYLDeep 26
It sounds more like a lead-pipe to the nose in the Kitchen. And who knows, maybe his name was Mr. Body?
sourgirl101 29
^ It looks like someone watched the movie "Clue"(:
FYLDeep 26
There's a movie?
sourgirl101 29
Yep! I own it.(: Tim Curry plays Mr. Body (He is the actor that played in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show").
percawesome 0
Wow there's a movie? FYI they also say the victim's name in the game instructions
annigotammo 1
lolol
ashleejayne69 0
haha absolutly legend ayee.