Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Today, I was in a crowded elevator and tried to discreetly take a breath mint. The little tin slipped from my hands, bounced off my shoe, and scattered mints everywhere. Everyone stared as I bent over, frantically picking them up, muttering, “I swear I’m usually cool.” FML
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
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Top comments
saxaddict122 14
Unless you managed to pick the wrong gender for your profile, why would the cashier assume you are a lesbian?
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I see that the cashier was trying to get fresh with you. I'm sure they didn't mint what they said, so just take a big breath and ignore them, OP! Or, you know, brush your teeth / tongue, a bit more :P hygiene is sexy ;)
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Comments (41)
ccameron12 21
That was kind of unnecessary for him to say
ayyy_bro 26
If they can smell your breath from the other side of the counter... YDI
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
I thought the FML was that you look like a man and you also have rancid breath.
igive 29
A two for one deal right there.
cantfixme36 28
You need to brush your teeth more, or switch toothpastes and use mouthwash specifically for bad breath... And if that still doesn't help, you need to talk to your dentist/doctor
interesting33 37
That is insanely rude - I would be furious and definitely talk to the manager. They may well have just wanted to upset someone as why else would they say something so horrible.
Helldemon 32
Ya, trying to save someone money means they are definitely a very rude and horrible person.
Nyattack 14
The problem with halitosis is that people who have it are often (at least partially) unaware of it until someone tells them, and most people are too chicken to tell them about it because it's seen as super shameful or hurtful, but when it's just too bad damn someone's gotta say something ! Plus it can often be fixed with appropriate measures, so people shouldn't be left clueless about it...
interesting33 37
How is it saving money? That person was an ordinary person buying mints - but the cashier decides to comment on their breath, assume they are planning to have a girl over - based on the fact that that person is buying a pack?! They are saying something in a cruel manner, in public to a perfect stranger. If they wanted to help Op they could recommend some and say 'these are really good' or they could pull htem aside some point if OP shops regularly, not humiliate them like that. They might not have halitosis - we don't know, but regardless, the cashier was very rude in how they acted. You don't tell someone with dandruff they need different shampoo if they want to impress someone, you don't say to someone overweight they should swap that sweet/burger for an apple if they plan on getting laid. It is none of the cashier's business.
Shade1982 21
There was nothing rude about this, it was just a simple suggestion based on observation. If you want rude, I can give you a list of things that would actually be rude in this case, but I can't list them here because I would be banned...
metalcrazed 21
try altiods very strong and also comes in cinnamon.
whassallt26 13
I like to think it wasn't your breath she was talking about, and that she was giving you subtle hints on how to use menthol on the next bird you bring home...
darnellq 13
Could also be referring to the big hit from the 90's where you pop a really strong mint into your mouth before what we used to call "oral olympics".
ohSNAPyall 27
Cashier: The Freshmaker
guim_fml 1
Maybe try flossing regularly ? (does wonders for me)