Today, in order to not upset my boss's autistic son who believes he is a chef, I had to choke down food that was both burnt and undercooked in the middle, contained way too much salt, and no other seasonings at all. I’m a real chef and I could feel my taste buds dying after eating that slop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss replaced me, with my 25 years experience, as head chef with her son, who has a GCSE in food studies from 15 years ago and hasn’t even worked a restaurant before. I’m sitting here, watching our customers send food back untouched because it’s so bad. This has ruined us. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, while taking to-go orders at my restaurant, a customer called saying he wanted his food well done. He even said, “Burn it to a crisp.” Which is what I told the kitchen. When he came to pick it up, he opened his food, inspected it and screamed, “Not this burned, you damn retard!” and threw it at me. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I gave myself a major foodgasm by creating an absolutely yummy egg and mushroom salad with mustard. Turns out, though, that my digestive abilities are not quite as good as my culinary ones. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
One of the best sayings my grandma taught me years ago when somebody offers you something to eat that you don't want, you simply say" no thank you I'm not hungry or I feel a little under the weather maybe another time".
Hangryko 32
If you get violently ill (though I hope you don't), you can sue. Hopefully, he quits.
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Comments (5)
Charlie Given 28
One of the best sayings my grandma taught me years ago when somebody offers you something to eat that you don't want, you simply say" no thank you I'm not hungry or I feel a little under the weather maybe another time".
RichardPencil 32
You're a coward. If you're a "real" chef, you would have called out the garbage immediately.
Hangryko 32
If you get violently ill (though I hope you don't), you can sue. Hopefully, he quits.
Gubbon 17
Sue what? The child? It was his own decision to eat the food.
D J's MOM 17
didn't say that the son was a child, also his boss might be an ass hat and op might have felt pressure to eat it.
Gubbon 17
Nothing at all wrong with salt as the only seasoning. The burnt thing, however, just don't eat it. It gives you cancer. That should be excuse enough to not eat it.
FluffythePink 23
You get points for not wanting to upset the son. As a sneaky way 'round it, you could offer to teach him how to make a few dishes? You get points from your boss and get to eat actually edible food.