Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today I found out my husband was throwing a 50th surprise party for me, and no one RSVP'd because of my best friend starting arguing with everyone in a group text. This was going to be the first big party or surprise party that I'd ever had. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
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Top comments
Bostonian3352 0
Well maybe now his surprise party can turn into his surprise divorce
huggles87 0
that sucks...maybe you could cancel the party, give him nothing but a card telling him to celebrate with the other bitch.
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Comments (151)
n_jay 0
he's a pig.
moonlight_daze 8
Maybe she was being distant and neglectful of his feelings. Cheating is ****** up. It's disloyal and I hate that shit. But why doesn't anyone ever call female cheaters "pigs"?
bluelabeled 0
they call the female cheaters "******"
metheonlyb 17
Coz the opposite of **** is Stud and the opposite of ***** is Gigolo. Now Stud is not a cuss and imagine calling guy a gigolo. "Urrg that guy is a gigolo" Sounds strange isn't it??
moonlight_daze 8
No one says "gigolo" anymore, playa..
PlasmaWafflez 0
As bad as looking through someones phone, it's a bit more of a legitimate reason, and even if it wasn't, nobody deserves to be cheated on. I hope your partner cheats on you and throws you into a cage with 10 starving lions, and that they eat you really slowly so your death is extremely long and painful. **** you.
Gavik 0
Issues much? Your daddy never loved you, get over it.
unpossible 26
I think "man-*****" is the accepted term these days. It sounds funny too.
Epic_Phailure 0
I agree with #3; his surprise party will soon be your surprise divorce >_
DrunkenValor 0
Polyamarous for the win.
gonzolove 0
The husband probably should have told her it was gonna be a polyamorous marriage from the beginning. Since he didn't, and she didn't consent, it's called cheating.
Sorrel 0
So guys are forbidden to look into girls purses, but they can do whatever they want with his shit? =) Jk, if he was cheating, he deserved it.
hornetchik 0
Thats very sad, and I'm sorry for you, but why were you inviting every contact on his cellphone, regardless of whether you knew them or not???? That sounds kinda strange... I'm sure not everyone on there would be his friends...
gigi37 0
I definitely agree with your way of thinking fatehatesme (aw?). Too many people just don't talk it out; they instead angrily confront one another and create a negative environment in which no one is going to get much out of and never come to a solution. Makes me really appreciate my parents that over-analogize everything; it makes them talk and sort through every little tidbit and they've never been happier. OP I hope you do talk to your husband and are able to work through it. Best of luck to ya
DrunkenValor 0
This is why humans aren't made for marriage. We're made to **** like rabbits and spread the virus that is humanity. Bwuhahahahaa.
sublime93 0
Your comments are always epicly awesome
Jincos 0
Hang her pussy from a ceiling fan. Then write in your husbands phone; "you always touch mine, so I touch yours." aswell as write; "she's a *****" in her house with her own pussy blood. :)
Zynris 10
Get help, for me, please.
fck__mi__lfe_01 0
Jincos u got that from another fml
kscott88 0
Well, I sure as hell hope you canceled that party!