Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
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Top comments
mnblkjpoi 0
Well at least you got some chips
DocBastard 40
I understand you're trying to lose weight, but lopping off a bit of your hand is NOT part of the DocBastard Healthy Weight Loss Plan.
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Comments (132)
ElricMustang 23
Did you eat the chunk of skin?
Jetgod56 7
Human, the other, other white meat! Taste like chicken?
DocBastard 40
I understand you're trying to lose weight, but lopping off a bit of your hand is NOT part of the DocBastard Healthy Weight Loss Plan.
phoenixslayer69 4
May I ask what comes after the lobotomy doc? I am unsure if this plan you put me On is working.
thiscrazything 1
Maybe it was to compensate for eating the deep fried potatoes. That way OP comes out even.
philipino 24
It's actually snorting 5 lines of cocaine as anesthetic and then getting DocBastard to cut off all your arms and legs, plus a portion of your brain.
xXSmilezXX 7
I suppose you thought the blood was ketchup 2?
IndianGiver 8
My mom did the same thing a couple days ago. Weird.
thisbitchlys 0
Bloody chips? My favorite.
iamyummylicious 14
You're really pretty. Love your hair.
MigraineurOfLife 15
It's always best after you add a little blood sweat & tears. As for actually hunks of flesh... I got nothing.
perdix 31
1. Homemade chips aren't healthy. They're at least as greasy as factory-made chips. 2. You've taken the first step toward cannibalism.
whiterabbit420 4
Actually you can do potato chips in the microwave without any oil. Then they're certainly healthier.
Ace2254 8
So thats the new trendy flavor! Yum...LAWL
brewmasterg 34
How you've worded it makes it sound like you picked out your bloody bit of finger and continued to cook those potatoes. I hope this is not what you did.
Spazz420 7
Why not? Water washes away all. lmao
Vampierjazz2010 0
Hope u didnt make salt and vinegar chips.